Monday, December 31, 2007

The World's Greatest Networker, Gordon Moss, Sets New World Record!!!

United States of America (Press Release) August 20, 2007 -- Gordon Moss, AKA The World's Greatest Networker, Set a new world record yesterday. The record, previously held by Sven Jorgensen, was recorded yesterday by officials from the Guinness Book yesterday.

Moss ate nothing but sardines in mustard sauce for 1135 straigt days without fault.

The World's Greatest Networker told Channel 9 news that it was by accident he broke the record." My neighbor lady gave me the coupons for the sardines. I really don't like them but they do keep me regular. Really, I can shit through a screen door" Moss stated.

It was noted that yesterday Moss received shipment of 2000 boxes of Kraft macaroni and cheese dinners. Could another record be set? More to come!
Posted by pizza pie guy at 22:22:20 | Permanent Link | Comments (0) |

GORDON MOSS, "THE WORLD'S GREATEST NETWORKER", OPENS DAYCARE CENTER

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For_Immediate_Release:

United States of America (Press Release) December 31, 2007 -- Gordon Moss, A.K.A. "The World's Greatest Networker", has opened a new daycare center in West Bloomfield. Moss stated," The fees are nominal and the care is excellent".
The Networker was looking to make money in something other than networking and thought daycare was the business to start. "People are always having sex and kids, so why not capitalize on it", Moss said. The World's Greatest Networker added," If one of these little fuckers puke or shit on any of my new boots, IT'S OVER!".
Posted by pizza pie guy at 14:39:34 | Permanent Link | Comments (0) |