Monday, December 31, 2007

The World’s Greatest Networker, Gordon Moss, Sets New World Record!!!

United States of America (Press Release) August 20, 2007 — Gordon Moss, AKA The World’s Greatest Networker, Set a new world record yesterday. The record, previously held by Sven Jorgensen, was recorded yesterday by officials from the Guinness Book yesterday.

Moss ate nothing but sardines in mustard sauce for 1135 straigt days without fault.

The World’s Greatest Networker told Channel 9 news that it was by accident he broke the record.” My neighbor lady gave me the coupons for the sardines. I really don’t like them but they do keep me regular. Really, I can shit through a screen door” Moss stated.

It was noted that yesterday Moss received shipment of 2000 boxes of Kraft macaroni and cheese dinners. Could another record be set? More to come!

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GORDON MOSS, “THE WORLD’S GREATEST NETWORKER”, OPENS DAYCARE CENTER

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United States of America (Press Release) December 31, 2007 — Gordon Moss, A.K.A. “The World’s Greatest Networker”, has opened a new daycare center in West Bloomfield. Moss stated,” The fees are nominal and the care is excellent”.
The Networker was looking to make money in something other than networking and thought daycare was the business to start. “People are always having sex and kids, so why not capitalize on it”, Moss said. The World’s Greatest Networker added,” If one of these little fuckers puke or shit on any of my new boots, IT’S OVER!”.
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Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Worlds Greatest Books CDs

July 13, 2007 (Press Release) — Gordon Moss (The World’s Greatest Networker) Walks Route 66 from Chicago to Los Angeles on his Hands.
He was seen yesterday in an undisclosed location walking on his hands with a beach-ball between his legs and ping pong balls between his toes. It was also noted that he had gigantic Tourquoise and Diamond rings on all of his fingers. HOW FAR WILL HE GO? The dogs and cats in the area seemed to have what is now being called the “Pied Piper” syndrome. They follow no matter what is doneto them. It may be the leaking package of raw hamburger meat in Gordon Moss’ hat. More to come.

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July 13, 2007 (Press Release) — GORDON MOSS(The World’s Greatest Networker) HURLS FAX MACHINE FROM THIRD STORY MANSION WINDOW!!!

July 13, 2007 (Press Release) — GORDON MOSS(The World’s Greatest Networker) HURLS FAX MACHINE FROM THIRD STORY MANSION WINDOW!!!
The fax machine was said to have weighed 200 lbs because, like Gordon Moss, it was antique.

The Machine was thrown from the third story of his mansion in a fit of rage over roast beef. “I told the morons,’rare’”, Moss said.

Sadly the fax machine was tethered to a 200 foot extention cord that was still plgged in. The fax machine landed in the pool where six fat women were taking a late night dip. They were all cooked as well done as the roast beef. Moss could not be found for further comment.

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Monday, August 20, 2007

The World’s Greatest Networker, Gordon Moss, Sets New World Record

United States of America (Press Release) August 20, 2007 — Gordon Moss, AKA The World’s Greatest Networker, Set a new world record yesterday. The record, previously held by Sven Jorgensen, was recorded yesterday by officials from the Guinness Book yesterday.

Moss ate nothing but sardines in mustard sauce for 1135 straigt days without fault.

The World’s Greatest Networker told Channel 9 news that it was by accident he broke the record.” My neighbor lady gave me the coupons for the sardines. I really don’t like them but they do keep me regular. Really, I can shit through a screen door” Moss stated.

It was noted that yesterday Moss received shipment of 2000 boxes of Kraft macaroni and cheese dinners. Could another record be set? More to come!

Posted by pizza pie guy at 08:11:24 | Permalink | No Comments »

Friday, August 10, 2007

Gordon Moss, The World’s Greatst Networker, Has New Invention

Gordon Moss announced today that he has came up with a new kitchen tool that will revolutionize the culinary world.

The world’s greatest networker has created a machine that will make
a great cup of espresso as well as wash the laundry. Moss stated “the machine will brew your java and wash your underwear at the same time”. It uses space age technology to accomplish what none other has.

Moss says he will take his idea to the patent patent office tomorrow. Coffee experts think the underwear filtering the joe will make it “taste like shit”.

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Friday, August 3, 2007

Gordon Moss, The World’s Greatst Networker, Unexpectedly Leaves Mansion

Gordon Moss, The World’s Greatest Networker, took an unexpected journey outside of his West Bloomfield fortress this morning for the first time in over 1200 days.

Network marketers from all over the country lined the streets in front of the mansion to get a glimpse of the world’s greatest networker as he emerged. With the exception of the Meals On Wheels guy, it was the first time Moss was seen by anyone in almost 4 years.

One spectator said,”The door opened really slowly and we saw a couple of bats fly out. Then we saw Moss come out. It was kind of hard to tell if it was Gordon Moss because he had what seemed to be gallons of SPF 200 slathered all over his body” What happened next is a mystery.

Moss came out and apparently saw his shadow. He turned and ran back inside screaming “It’s really blue…It’s really blue!!” No one knows if he was screaming about his shadow or the sky, but it
is expected that we will now have six more weeks of summer.

 


KudoSurf Me!

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Friday, July 13, 2007

Gordon Moss Skips Pepperoni Pizza……Opts For Anchovies

Gordon Moss, The World’s Greatest Networker, shocked the networkers in The city of West Bloomfield, Mi. by having anchovies on his breakfast pie instead of pepperoni. “We were all dumbfounded when we heard the news” one local networker said. Another stated”…..you never know what the cards hold from day to day”. What’s next?

<a href=”http://www.zimbio.com/member/raysizemore”> <img src=”http://www.zimbio.com/images/badges/badgeBlue.png?u=raysizemore” border=”0″ /></a><br/> <a style=”margin-top:2px; display:block; font-size:11px; padding-left:6px; color:#244366;” href=”http://www.zimbio.com/member/raysizemore/kudos”> KudoSurf Me! </a> 

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Gordon Moss , The World’s Greatest Networker, Elects Self Governor Of Networker ville

Gordon Moss Elected Gordon Moss Governer of networker ville today. Gordon Moss said He would have been better off to remain The Greatest Networker in the World, but wanted to expand his horizons. Gordon Moss stated “networkers across America should run to the polls before they see pepperoni pizzas flying
through the air”


KudoSurf Me!

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